Holding on for Dear Life
by BellaLeigh1
Summary: When one more death pushes Hayley over the edge, she and Klaus are both forced to finally confront the empty places in their hearts where Elijah used to be. The first in a series of companion stories to You Can't Fight Destiny, filling in that 4-year time skip. NOT a Klayley story, this is more like SIBLING bonding.
1. Abandoned but not Alone

"Mary Dumas died this morning."

Klaus closed his eyes. He had never really liked the woman. But she was Hayley and Hope's family. Had been their rock, their safe place, their one constant during the five years they had been on the run from Marcel trying to find a way to save the others. And now, both of his little wolves were hurting, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. "How are they?"

"I really don't know. Hope is… I think she's in shock, to be honest. The last time we lost someone that she was personally close to was Jackson. She was just a baby, and had no idea what was going on. This is different. To be honest, it's Hayley that I'm worried about, though. Hope's reaction is exactly what you would expect of a ten-year-old getting her first taste of death and mortality. Hayley… You would think that she would be used to it by now. And, for once, it was natural causes. The woman died of old age, it doesn't really get any more peaceful than that. But, Hayley is taking this as hard as she took Jackson's death."

"It's probably because of Jackson. Like you said, Hope was just a baby when he died. And the rest of us never really liked the guy. Mary was her last connection to him. She just lost him all over again."

He didn't say the rest of what he was thinking. Hayley needed Elijah. Now, more than ever. She needed the one person who could never be there for her. Klaus could return to New Orleans temporarily when Hope went back to school. But, Elijah… Elijah was gone.

He picked up a glass and threw it. Hayley was hurting, and the one person best equipped to deal with it was in France, locked in a mental prison of his own making. Marcel was family twice over, the brother-in-law that Klaus loved like a son. But, in that moment, when Hayley needed Elijah and Elijah wasn't there, he would gladly rip the younger man limb from limb for taking his brother from them.

She needed Elijah. She needed the comfort that only he could give her. All any of the rest of them could be was a poor substitute. But, Klaus was still the next best thing. "Call me when Hope goes back to school. I'll be on the next plane out there."

"Klaus…"

"I'm not what she really needs, Freya. I know that. There is a certain comfort that he could give her that I can't. But, since putting her on a plane to France isn't an option, I'm the best we've got. And don't forget, you aren't my only source of information. I can always ask Caroline to call me when Hope gets back to Mystic Falls. But, with or without your help, sister, I _will _ be there for Hayley."

"I'll call you."

"Good girl. Now then, are either of them up to talking to me?"

"They're in the bayou, with their people. I can have them call you when they get in?"

"Only if they're feeling up to it. Hug them both for me, though?"

"Klaus…"

And with that one word, he understood Freya's reluctance in having him go to New Orleans. He understood the assumption she had made about his motives. "Freya… I promise you that this isn't what you think. Just call me. Either when one of them is ready to talk to me, or when it's safe for me to come home." And then he ended the call, sat down on the edge of his bed, and cried. Not for the woman who was gone, but for the two who were still here, who were hurting, and who he couldn't help.

**~Holding on for Dear Life~**

It was over two weeks before he got the call from Freya. He had talked to Hope a few times in those weeks, but she had been busy dealing with her first taste of grief, and with trying to be strong for the mother who was falling apart. During one of their conversations, she had confessed that watching Hayley go through that was almost worse than Mary's death.

"I wish Uncle Elijah could be here, Daddy. I really don't know if anyone else can fix this. I've never seen her like this, before. Not even right after you all had to scatter."

Out of the mouths of babes. "I wish he could be there, too, my littlest wolf. But, once it's okay for me to go home, I'm going to see what I can do for her. It won't be nearly the same thing, but hopefully it will be enough."

That conversation had been almost a week before Freya finally called to tell him that Hope was back at school, and it was safe to come home.

He gave Freya a perfunctory kiss on the cheek. "Where is she?"

"Either in her room, or in Elijah's."

Elijah's room? He took the stairs two at a time at vamp speed. She was curled up in Elijah's bed, with her back to the door, clutching a pillow like it was her lifeline. He could smell Elijah's cologne. Did Freya realize that she did this? He walked in and sat on the bed next to her. She gave no indication that she knew he was there. Which was chilling, in itself. How had nobody noticed just how bad she was? How in the world did Hope, ten-year-old Hope, come closest to seeing it?

He put a hand on her shoulder. "I know I'm not what you need, but I _am_ here, love. I'm here."

And then she turned to look at him. Sat up. Threw her arms around him. And cried. And as he held her, and whispered words of reassurance, he realized the other thing that nobody else had noticed. The tears she shed weren't just for Mary, or for Jackson. Here, in this room, with that familiar scent surrounding him, he could see it. It was Elijah. She was finally letting herself cry for Elijah. For the future that they planned together, and that it felt like he had thrown away.

Fuck! How was he supposed to fix this? Strangely enough, death was easier to cope with. He could help her grieve a death. Abandonment was something else entirely. He couldn't help her. In fact, sitting here, in Elijah's room, surrounded by Elijah's things, the scent of Elijah's cologne in the air, and the feel of the woman Elijah had loved in his arms, suddenly he was the one needing comfort. Because that was the thing she may not have realized. He had abandoned all of them. Klaus could still talk to Kol, Rebekah and Hope. Could visit with Hayley and Freya while Hope was in school. Marcel came to visit, sometimes. And sometimes, while Rebekah was visiting Hayley and Freya, he went to visit Marcel. But Elijah? Elijah was relegated to second-hand stories from Josh.

His brother was gone. Hayley's soulmate was gone. And neither of them actually knew how to cope with that. And so they held onto each other, and they cried. And if she thought that he believed it was only Mary and possibly Jackson she was mourning, he let her. And, if she believed that it was only worry about her and Hope that had him crying, he let her do that, too. Because to admit that they were mourning Elijah would be to admit that part of them was starting to lose hope of ever seeing him again. And neither of them was willing to admit that, just yet.

They were going to have to, eventually. He knew that. They were going to have to talk about Elijah, about what his leaving had done to them. He knew that they were the ones most hurt by it. The ones who felt abandoned, cast aside. Even though he knew, and he hoped she knew, that that wasn't the case. It was hard, sometimes, not to think that.

Eventually, her sobs subsided and he let her go. "Are you ready to come downstairs and eat something? I think that Freya is getting worried about you."

"I can't. Please Klaus. I can't face them. Freya, Keelin, Vincent. I can't face any of them. I can't face the pity in their eyes. And I can't… I can't deal with seeing Freya and Keelin together. Not right now. You understand. I can see it in your eyes. You feel the same way." And there it was. The admittance that it was really Elijah that she was crying over.

He nodded. "Perhaps you should move back into your own room. Being in here can't be helping you."

She shook her head. "I need this, right now. I need to be here. I… It's the closest I can get to him. Please understand." She was talking about Elijah and her loss as if he had just left yesterday.

Part of him wanted to shake her. To point out that it had been two years and she needed to move on. But, another part understood. She had never let herself finish the grieving process. He wasn't sure what stage it had stalled at, but it had definitely stalled. And, at some point, she had put on a mask. Become Hope's mother, the Crescent Pack Alpha, Freya's friend. And had buried the part of herself that had had dreams of becoming a Mikaelson for real. And now she was taking that mask off. And what was beneath it was terrifying.

But, now that the mask was off, they could finally get to work healing the broken and battered creature beneath it. Step one, making her eat. Such a simple thing. And yet, such a vital part of returning to some semblance of normalcy.

"I'll go see about getting you some food. And some blood." He stood up and walked out of the room.

He didn't go straight to the kitchen, though. Instead, he went to Hayley's room. And instantly wondered if he was the only one other than her to have stepped foot in here since Elijah had left them. Because, anyone seeing this would have realized that Hayley had not been okay for a very long time. But, the broken furniture wasn't the worst of it. The shattered picture frames, either. No, the worst part was the smell. Elijah's cologne. Faint, faded, as if it had been a long time since it had been sprayed. And yet… still stronger than Hayley's own scent.

She had doused her own bedroom with Elijah's cologne, and then when that hadn't been enough to heal the hole in her heart, she had moved into his bedroom. And nobody had noticed. He barely suppressed a bellow of rage. Only the knowledge that she would hear and possibly be upset by it held him in check. Somebody needed to be strong for her. And since his sister was apparently too oblivious to what had been going on right under her nose, that somebody was going to have to be Klaus.

He stormed into the kitchen and started putting together a plate of Hayley's favorite treats. No, she didn't need the food. Or at least her body didn't. But, she had always enjoyed eating. Enjoyed the way it had made her feel like she was still the same person she had been before she died. It was a small thing, but getting her to eat, even a little, would be the first step in healing her soul.

Though, there was one bit of nutrition he would damn well force down her throat, if he had to. He pulled a blood bag out of the refrigerator, and looked at it in disgust. It would be cold and unappealing. If he was going to coax her back to the land of the living, he needed something more enticing than that.

He grabbed a glass out of the cabinet and held it out to Freya, who had been standing there glaring at him through the entire proceedings. Her glare intensified, and she made no move to take the glass.

"Yours from a glass, or mine straight from the vein. Your choice. But she needs blood." Would she realize just what he was threatening her with?

Apparently she did, because she grabbed the glass from his hand and sliced open her palm, filling the glass before using her magic to heal the cut. Still, she said nothing, just continued to glare at him.

He didn't care. She was pissed at him for some reason. And frankly he didn't care why, either. He was pissed at her, too. She had ignored what was going on in her own house for two years. And now Hayley was so far gone that he wasn't entirely sure that even Elijah could bring her back.

Because the state she was in wasn't caused by Mary's death. That wasn't even the catalyst. All it had done was give her an excuse to drop the mask. The woman currently huddled in his brother's bed had always been there, under the surface. And none of the people closest to her had seen it.

He took the glass from Freya, grabbed the plate, and went back upstairs. His threat to let Hayley drink from him remained the only words spoken between them.

**~Holding on for Dear Life~**

He made her drink the blood first. "Before it starts to clot. It's fresh, not out of a blood bag, so it _will_ clot."

It was a little worrying that she didn't even bother to ask whose blood it was. But, she took the glass and took a sip.

When she tried to hand it back, he shook his head. "All of it, love. You need to keep your strength up." And then he played dirty, played the one card that would always get her attention. "Hope needs her mother, Hayley. I can't be near her. She needs you."

She glared at him, acknowledging the low blow, and the insinuation that she was neglecting their daughter. But, she took the glass and downed the contents.

He handed her the plate, earning himself another frown. "Eat. I made a point of getting things I knew you would like. You don't want to hurt my feelings by refusing to eat, do you?"

The look she gave him said that she would like to hurt more than his feelings. But he didn't back down. And she finally took a few bites. It wasn't much, and he knew that it was only to get him to take the offending plate away and let her get back to her wallowing, but he would take what he could get. And the plate stayed in her lap until she had sampled some of everything on it.

And now for the part that he knew that she would really fight him on. Her defiance about eating had been nothing more than some weird grief-induced form of teenage rebellion. He had no delusions that his next request would inspire anything less than full-on rage. "You need to get out of this room, Hayley. This isn't healthy."

But, it wasn't rage that greeted him with that statement. Instead, she started shaking. "I can't. Klaus, please. I need him, right now. I need him, and he isn't here. And I can't."

"He isn't here, love. And losing yourself in grief isn't going to bring him back. But, eventually, Freya will fix all of this. And he is going to need you to still be here when that happens. He's going to need you as badly as you need him, right now."

And then the tears came again. And this time, there wasn't any pretending that she was crying over anything or anyone except Elijah. "He left me, Klaus. He just tossed me aside like I never meant anything to him. He told me he loves me, and then he made himself _forget_ me. And I just want him back. I just want him back."

"So do I, love. So do I."

But, he was done giving her a choice. When the tears once again subsided, he scooped her up and carried her out of the room. She was done sleeping with Elijah's ghost. And her own room was trashed. That left Klaus's room as the only viable option.

But, of course, big sister Freya was in the hallway, frowning at him. He ignored her, until she called out to him. "Klaus…"

"Leave it be, sister. This doesn't concern you." _You had two years to fix this, and you did nothing. Now it's my turn. _Turning his back on Freya, he carried Hayley into his room, kicked the door closed, and set her on his bed. He took the chair in the corner. It was going to be a long night.

"Klaus?"

"Yes?"

"I don't want to be alone."

He couldn't help the half smile at that. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

"Please. I don't want to be alone."

And then he understood. He sighed and climbed into the bed with her, taking her into his arms. "I'm right here. Now, go to sleep, little wolf. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day."

Because tomorrow, he was taking her to L.A. if he had to compel her to get her onto the plane. She needed to get away from here.

**~Holding on for Dear Life~**

It didn't surprise him that he woke before she did. He slipped out of the bed, careful not to wake her. Grabbing her plate and glass from Elijah's room, he headed back down to the kitchen to wash them and make breakfast.

By the time Freya, Keelin and Vincent wandered their way downstairs, Hayley's glass was on the table waiting for one of them to fill it, and Klaus was scooping bacon and eggs onto a plate for her. Though, he was glad that his back was to the room, when Freya spoke.

"Klaus, I need to ask you something, and I need you to give me an honest answer."

He had a feeling that he was very much not going to like this, but he shrugged. "Go right ahead, sister. What do you need to ask me?" He was expecting her to ask exactly what had happened the night before. He wasn't expecting her to immediately make accusations.

"Did you sleep with Hayley, last night?"

Klaus stiffened at that. Did she really think so little of him? Well, then let her. He turned and sneered at her. "So what if I did? I just gave her exactly what she asked me for." And if his dear big sister thought that meant sex, and not just for someone to hold her while she slept, well… It was hardly his fault that she jumped to conclusions, was it?

He turned away from the venom in Freya's eyes. Scooped the last of the eggs onto Hayley's plate, and turned to the table. Somebody had filled the glass. Well, whatever they thought about him, his motives, and just how far he was willing to go, they at least agreed with him that she needed to eat. He picked up the glass and ran up the stairs.

Hayley was awake when he got back to his room. She flinched when she saw what he was carrying. "I'm not hungry."

"I don't recall asking if you were hungry. Here is how this is going to work, Hayley. You are going to drink your blood, and eat your breakfast. All of it. Then you are going to take a shower, and put on clean clothes. You can either do these things of your own free will, or I can compel you to do them. But, you _will_ do them." He turned to his dresser and pulled out a set of clothes for himself. "Now then. I am going to go take a shower. I expect that food and that blood to be gone when I get out. If they are not, then you will lose any semblance of having a choice. Do I make myself clear?"

He wasn't being fair to her. Taking his anger at Freya out on Hayley wasn't helping anyone. Except, as he walked out of the room, he saw Hayley pick up the glass. So, maybe it was helping her, after all.

Once he was in the shower, with the running water hopefully drowning out any sounds he would make, even from Hayley's ears, he rested his forehead against the wall and let himself cry. Did his own sister really think that he would take advantage of Hayley's grief like that? Even if he hadn't stopped thinking of Hayley in any kind of romantic or sexual terms years ago, he wasn't a monster. But, apparently, even his own siblings still automatically assumed the worst of him.

Elijah was the only one who had ever seen any good in him. The only one who thought there was something in him worth saving, worth fighting for. But, Elijah was gone. And now, he and Hayley only had each other. Oh, the others would be there for them. But, the grief they were both feeling, that they had both buried for the past two years, was something only they could understand. None of the others felt abandoned. Maybe because none of the others ever _had_ been abandoned.

But, Hayley had spent the first twenty years of her life thinking her birth parents had abandoned her. And then been kicked out by her adoptive parents when a stupid accident showed her to be something a bit more than human. And Klaus… abused and hated by the man he had called "father". A thousand years running from a father that wanted him dead. Oh, it could be argued that Mikael wanted all of them dead. But, he had wanted Klaus dead long before he had made him immortal.

And now? Now, here they were. The two people who had loved Elijah the most, and who had been loved the most in return. Abandoned once again. This time by the one person they both thought they could count on. This was the real reason why Klaus had the best chance of eventually bringing Hayley back to herself. Because he was the only one who really understood what she was going through.

And so, he stood in the shower and he cried. He cried for the brother he missed more than he had words to express. He cried for the little sister who honestly believed that her soulmate had stopped loving her. He cried for the siblings who would always assume the worst of him, not the black sheep of the family, but rather the rabid wolf who could turn on them in an instant without provocation. And he cried for himself. For the centuries of pain, of never being good enough. He cried until the water ran cold. And then he quickly washed, then got dressed and went back to his room.

Hayley had finished everything he had brought her. Which had to make him smile, despite himself. She looked up when he came in, looking resigned. "I guess it's my turn, then."

"Yes, but wait a minute. I accidentally used the last of the hot water. Let me go see if Freya and Vincent can do something about that." When she nodded, he took her empty plate and glass and went downstairs.

They were all still in the kitchen, he could hear them talking, but couldn't bring himself to care enough to pay attention to what they were saying. He was sure it was about him, and his treatment of Hayley. And he really didn't care about their opinion on that. "I accidentally used all the hot water. Do you think one of you can do something about that so that Hayley can take a shower?"

Freya had changed tactics from staring daggers at him to refusing to even look at him. Whatever. It wasn't as if he cared. "Yeah, fine. I'll take care of it." She walked out of the room.

Klaus looked at Keelin and Vincent. "I suppose the two of you are pissed at me, too?"

"What the hell are you doing, man?"

"That is really not your problem. You all had your chance to deal with her. You didn't. I don't know if I can fix this. But, I'm all we've got. You had your chance. It's my turn, now."

"Mary's been dead for two weeks, Klaus. It's not like you actually gave us a chance to deal with her before swooping in and taking over."

Klaus burst into laughter. "I'm taking Hayley to L.A. As soon as she gets out of the shower and gets dressed. She needs to get out of this house. Do us all, especially her, a favor. While we're gone, go clean her room. All three of you. And then talk to me about me not giving you a chance."

He could hear Freya's footsteps getting closer. And he really was not in the mood to deal with her, right now. He went back upstairs before she could try to talk to him.

"All right, you're all set."

As soon as Hayley went into the bathroom, Klaus walked out again. He started to walk to her room, and then thought better of it. Instead, he went to Elijah's room. Sure enough, it looked like most of Hayley's clothes had been moved in there. Which would explain why it was almost impossible to pick up her scent in her own room. When was the last time she had been in there, anyway? He got out a change of clothes for her to put on after her shower, and then packed her a bag.

Being careful not to see anything he shouldn't he slipped her clothes into the bathroom, and then sat on the edge of his bed and waited for her. When he heard the water turn off, he called for a cab to take them to the airport. "All right, little wolf. Let's go."

"And just where are we going?"

"You are coming home with me. Since nobody here can be trusted to look after you properly, I'm going to do it."

"You want me to go to L.A. with you? Aren't you forgetting something? You accused me of neglecting Hope, earlier. Now you want me to take an extended vacation to the other side of the country? Without even saying goodbye?"

"Fine, we'll go to Mystic Falls, first."

"Which you can't do."

"Enough Hayley! I'll call Caroline. Have her meet us at the airport. She'll take you to see Hope, I'll stay far away. But we are leaving. Now. Remember what I told you, before."

"You'd really compel me to go with you?"

"I will do whatever it takes to save you from yourself. And if that means compelling you into behaving until I can trust you, then I will damn well do it."

"Well, it seems that I don't really have a choice, do I?"

"Now you're starting to understand the situation."

He should have known that it wasn't going to be that easy.

Freya was standing at the bottom of the stairs. "We need to talk, Klaus."

"I believe we both said everything that needs to be said, already. Clean her room, Freya. Don't let her come home to that." And with that, he took Hayley's hand and walked out of the house, making a point of slamming the door behind him. He supposed that he should be grateful that his sister didn't use her magic to stop them. But, the fact that he should, only served to piss him off more.


	2. The Blame Game

_**I know it's been a while since I've updated this one. Been trying to mostly concentrate on Waiting For That Dance to get it finished. It's not, but this chapter decided it needed to be written right now. This picks up shortly after the last chapter ends. Starting with a scene of Klaus and Hayley talking in the cab, and then skipping to after their plane lands. **_

_**As always, thanks for the comments, favorites, follows, and for just reading.**_

**~Holding On For Dear Life~**

"So, you gonna tell me what that exchange between you and Freya was all about? What happened between you two, this morning?"

Klaus sighed. It figured that the first words Hayley would say to him after leaving the house would be to ask about that. "Well, to fully understand this, I need to go back to the day Mary died." Because it occurred to him that Freya being pissed at him had started then, with what he had said. His reason for why he needed to be in New Orleans.

"You and your sister have been fighting for two weeks? Over what?"

"We haven't been fighting. Technically, we aren't fighting now. We're just not speaking to each other. There's a difference."

"Klaus… What happened?"

"When Freya called me to tell me, I asked how you and Hope were doing. She told me about how you were taking this as hard as you had taken Jackson's death. I figured it was because Mary had been your last connection to him, so this was like losing him all over again."

"I guess that was a reasonable assumption. No way you could have known at the time that…"

"That it was really Elijah that you were finally letting yourself mourn."

"Yeah. But, this doesn't really explain why you and Freya aren't speaking."

"Anyway… Even without realizing what the real problem was, I did know that what you really needed was Elijah. But, that wasn't an option. Basically… I guess that Freya didn't take too well to me calling myself the next best thing to Elijah when it comes to comforting you."

"So, she was already misinterpreting your motives and pissed at you by the time you got there."

"Exactly. And then, when she seemed reluctant to fill a glass of blood for you, I… kind of threatened to let you drink from me."

Hayley rubbed her eyes at that. "And then she saw you _carrying_ me into your bedroom…"

"Yeah. I haven't exactly been helping the situation, any. But she pissed me off. When I saw… when I saw your room… When I realized just how long you've actually been like this…" He shrugged. "I didn't handle things well."

"And this morning?"

He should have realized that she wouldn't let that go. "She… she asked me if I slept with you, last night. And I… didn't exactly deny it. I didn't lie to her. I just didn't tell her the whole truth. After all, you and I did share a bed, last night. I just left out the not so little detail of all of our clothes staying on."

She just stared at him for a minute, and then went back to giving him the silent treatment. At the moment, he preferred that, and so let her be. Though, he was sure that that was going to end up being one of the things they were going to have to talk about, later. Once he got her sanity mostly back.

**~Holding On For Dear Life~**

Caroline was waiting for them when the plane landed. She hugged Hayley, and then Klaus. "How is she?"

"She's right here, and doesn't appreciate the two of you talking about her like she's not standing right in front of you."

Klaus shrugged. "Apparently, she has decided that her current tactic to avoid dealing with her problems is going to be snark. Which is entirely unfair, since being a snarky asshole is my job and I really don't appreciate the competition." And then he sighed. "It might be easier to show you. If I may?"

Caroline nodded and then closed her eyes. "Go ahead."

Klaus had to wonder at the trust she was showing him. After all, he was an Original. Once he was in her head, he could do whatever he wanted. There was no way she was strong enough to keep him out. He smiled a bit, then gently touched her forehead and closed his eyes.

And showed her everything. From the moment he heard that Hayley might be in Elijah's room, to the moment he had slammed the door on their way out. He held nothing back, not even the things that were about him and his grief. He wasn't even quite sure what it was that made him do that. There was no real reason to show her his own pain. Except that the accusation from Freya was still ringing in his ears, along with the true implication of that accusation. And there was a part of him that was looking for some kind of validation.

When he finally pulled away, Caroline opened her eyes and just stared at him for a minute. "Klaus, I am so sorry. I'm so sorry that I didn't see this. I should have seen it."

"Not at all, love. When it comes to keeping my family sane and safe, your job is to look after Hope. Which, nobody can fault how well you have been doing that job. The child is remarkably well adjusted for everything she has been through, and I know that at least part of that is because of you. No. Looking after her," he nodded towards Hayley, "was my sister's job."

"Still right here."

He ignored her. "There was no way you could have known that she hadn't set foot in her own bedroom in months, if not years. You weren't there. Freya was. This is on her."

"Still... I still feel like as her friend, I should have realized something was wrong."

He shrugged. "It turns out she's a pretty good actress. She had me fooled when I came to visit, too. Though, in hindsight, maybe I should have questioned why she was always the last one to go to bed, and the first one to wake up. Now I know, it was because she didn't want me to see where she was sleeping. I guess I can admit that at least some of this is on me. But you have nothing to apologize for."

"If you two are through talking about me like I'm not here, I would really like to go see my daughter, now."

Klaus shook his head. "See what I mean about the snark?" He hugged Caroline, and kissed Hayley on the forehead. It wasn't until he felt her tense up that he realized his mistake. Elijah used to do that. "Sorry. I wasn't thinking. Run along you two. Kiss Hope for me, and tell her that I love her. And I'll meet you back here in a few hours."

Once they were out of sight, he pulled his phone out and turned it on. Only to be greeted by about three dozen text messages from Freya asking where he was and demanding that he call her. He rolled his eyes. He had told them that he was taking Hayley to L.A. Where did they think he was? He sighed and decided that he might as well get it over with. Taking a deep breath, he called his sister.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"On a plane. With my phone off. Because I was on a plane. Did you not catch the part about taking Hayley to L.A.? How exactly did you think we were getting there? Clicking our heels together and saying 'there's no place like home'?"

"Cut the sarcasm, Klaus. We need to talk."

"I do believe that I already told you that the two of us have said all there was to say to each other, this morning. You accused me of sleeping with Hayley, and I admitted that I did, but only because she asked me to. What else is there to say?"

"I'm just trying to look after Hayley."

"Right. Because you've been doing such a great job of that so far. Really exemplary."

"What is your fucking problem?"

"Let's see… What can my fucking problem possibly be? Being in the same city as any of my siblings but one, or my daughter, could pretty much cause the end of the world as we know it. Which means that my daughter is growing up without me, and I get to watch her grow up through pictures and phone calls. My older brother had such a hard time dealing with the thought of not being able to see the people he cares about that he had his memories of us erased, so that I don't even have that much with him. The mother of my child is having a nervous breakdown. And my own sister apparently thinks I'm incapable of being a decent person. I think that pretty much sums up my fucking problem."

"Nobody thinks you're incapable of being a decent person, Klaus."

"Really, Freya? Because just this morning you accused me of raping Hayley. So, don't even start with me."

"Klaus, I never…"

He cut her off. "Go to Mystic Falls, Freya. Go to Mystic Falls and have Caroline show you what I showed her. Then try to tell me that the woman I spent the night with last night was in any condition to consent to _anything_."

"Mystic Falls? What the hell are you doing in Mystic Falls?"

"Hayley wanted to say goodbye to Hope. I'm at the airport. Caroline met us here. Don't worry, I'm staying away from Hope. But, thanks so much for thinking that I'm willing to risk the end of the world, starting with my own daughter. Fits so well with everything else you've accused me of, lately. Nice to know what you really think of me."

"Will you just stop it, already! I don't think that you're incapable of being a decent person. Whatever you may think, I never accused you of raping Hayley. And I know that, as much as it hurts you to be away from Hope, you wouldn't risk it if you were thinking clearly. I love you, little brother. And right now, I'm almost as worried about you as I am about Hayley. You've been in a pissy mood ever since you walked in the door, yesterday."

"Maybe because even before I went home, you were already accusing me of having ulterior motives where Hayley is concerned. Maybe because I knew that I was going to have to do things you weren't going to like, and it was going to cause an argument. Or maybe because I was worried about Hayley and pissed at Marcel and Vincent for taking away the one person that has the best chance of helping her."

"You compared yourself to Elijah, Klaus. And you do have a child, together. Obviously, there was once _something_ between you."

Klaus laughed. "Yes, there was once something between us. That something being a bit too much alcohol. I do love her, Freya. I admit that. But, not the way you think. Was there a time when I might have tried to compete with Elijah if I thought I had a chance in Hell of winning? Yes. I'm not going to lie. I did once have some sort of feelings for her. But, I honestly don't know how much of that was really her, and how much was because of Hope. But, her heart has belonged to Elijah from the first time she saw him. I accepted that a long time ago. And now? I love her. The exact same way I love you, Rebekah, and Kol."

"And Elijah."

"No. Not Elijah. Elijah wasn't just my brother, he was my best friend. Much as I love you, sister, he's different. Only Hope outranks Elijah." He took a deep breath. "And as far as me comparing myself to Elijah goes… I didn't mean what I said about me being the next best thing the way you obviously thought that I did. In fact, pretty much the opposite. I fully expected to be used as a punching bag. I expected her to take her rage and grief out on me, because she knows that I can take it. She knows that I wouldn't have gotten angry, or been hurt. If Elijah was here, he could have offered her sex. But, he's not here. Violence is the next best thing. And that? That I could give her."

"You didn't have sex with her?"

"Of course not! Like I said, I love her like a sister, now. I would no more have sex with Hayley than I would with you or Rebekah. Plus, regardless of his current condition, from her perspective, she's still Elijah's girl. And, the way she was last night… I say that Elijah could have offered her sex, but honestly… I don't know that even _he_ would have. I don't know that he would have trusted her ability to consent to _him_. She was a mess, Freya. I brought her into my room because it was literally the only option. And then she asked me to hold her while she slept. So, I did. Nothing happened. I slept in the clothes I wore yesterday, for fuck's sake."

"I'm sorry. I haven't been thinking clearly. I was so worried about the two of you hurting each other, I never stopped to consider that I may have been hurting you, myself. I never stopped to consider how my accusations would sound to you. But, you have to admit that you didn't exactly do anything to help the situation. You threatened to let her drink from you, Klaus."

"And I would have, if that was the only way to get her fresh blood. I didn't want to give her a cold blood bag. She needed something warm, something fresh. I don't expect you to understand."

"I guess I do, now that you've explained it. It was just one thing after another. You compared yourself to Elijah, and then you threatened to let her drink from you, and then I catch you carrying her into your room. What I said this morning wasn't fair. But, I never meant it as an accusation of rape, Klaus. You have to know that."

"Yeah well, however you intended it… It doesn't change the fact that _had_ I had sex with her last night, it _would_ have been rape. And, I'm sorry, but it's going to be a while before I'm ready to forgive you for that."

"I uderstand. But, I have one more question for you. Why was your room the only option?"

He rolled his eyes at that. "I take it you still haven't been in her room? Have you even been in Elijah's room? Here's a question for you. Have you been in either of their rooms since he left us? At all?"

"No, I haven't done any of those things. And I suppose that your next response is going to be to repeat that we need to clean her room?"

"Hers and Elijah's. I want all three of you involved in this. But, Keelin, especially. She has the best chance of knowing when the worst of the problems have been taken care of."

"What are you talking about?"

"I meant what I said. Clean her room. And have Caroline show you what I showed her. You need to know what's been going on. All of it." And then he ended the call and blocked Freya's, Keelin's, and Vincent's numbers. He couldn't turn the phone off while Hayley was with Caroline. If one of them needed to get a hold of him, he needed them to be able to. But he was through dealing with his older sister for a few days, at least.

**~Holding On For Dear Life~**

Freya stared at the suddenly dead phone and sighed. Then she looked up at Vincent and Keelin. "They're in Mystic Falls. Caroline has taken Hayley to see Hope, Klaus is cooling his heels at the airport. He wants us to clean Hayley's and Elijah's bedrooms. Keelin, he says that he needs you, especially to deal with it. Something about being the best at telling when the worst of the problems has been dealt with?"

The looks on the others' faces mirrored her own confusion, but she just shrugged. "I don't pretend to understand it. But, right now, I think that maybe we should just go ahead and humor him." She led the way up the stairs and to Hayley's room. And then froze when she opened the door. Klaus was right. How did they not realize what was going on? The room was a mess. Picture frames shattered, pictures torn to shreds. She was willing to bet that they were of Elijah. Some of the furniture was broken, too.

The closet door was off the hinges, the frame pulled away from the wall. Freya walked in, trying to be careful to watch her step, trying not to break anything worse, or end up tripping. Most of Hayley's clothes were gone. And what was left was shredded. And in here, shredded was very much the correct word. These hadn't been ripped apart. This was the work of claws. Werewolf claws. At some point, Hayley had come in here, and threw a fit like only a hybrid could.

Freya picked up some of the scraps, and found herself able to figure out what outfits they had come from. The red dress she had worn to the Strix party was the biggest standout. But, there were others. And it didn't take long for the common thread to become obvious. Every single outfit that had an even remotely happy memory of Elijah connected to it was in shreds in Hayley's closet.

She put her hand to her mouth, sat down and cried. "We fucked up, guys. She did this right after Elijah left. Klaus is right. Hayley has been like this for _years_ and we never even noticed." How had she not noticed? How had she not noticed that her best friend was falling apart at the seams? How had Hayley done _this_ and none of them realized it was happening?

There was a hand on her shoulder, then. She reflexively reached up and squeezed it. And then Keelin was talking to her. "I know why he specifically wants me to clean. He wants us to get the smell of Elijah's cologne out. I don't know if even I can do good enough for Hayley to not pick it up, but I'll certainly be better at it than either of you."

Elijah's cologne. She hadn't even noticed that. Which meant that Klaus and Keelin were right. She had no hope of cleaning well enough for Hayley to be comfortable in here. She nodded. "Well, we can start with that by keeping the door and windows open. Air the room out while we do the rest. We've got our work cut out for us, though." And they hadn't even looked at Elijah's room, yet.

But, that could wait. There was something else that needed to be done, first. She stood up and opened the windows. Then she started walking out of the room. "Come on, guys. This has waited this long, it can wait another day. We're going on a road trip."

"And where are we going?"

"Mystic Falls. Klaus wants me to have Caroline show me what he showed her. I have a feeling that this is something we're all going to need to see."


	3. Who Needs Who?

_A trip to Mystic Falls to say goodbye to Hope leaves Hayley wondering who is the parent, and who is the child. And makes her realize that she isn't the only one hurting, and Klaus just might actually need her help even more than she needs his._

_As always, thanks for the kudos/favorites, the follows, and the comments/reviews. They mean so much to me. _

**~Holding On For Dear Life~**

"Mom? What are you doing here? And why did Caroline pull me out of class? Is everything okay?"

Hayley wanted to lie. To tell her that everything was perfectly fine, and she just wanted to see her. But, she knew that her daughter was too smart for that. Besides, Caroline wouldn't have pulled her out of class for just anything. Education was very important to her. And that was exponential for Hope, who was not only a firstborn Mikaelson witch, but the original tribrid. Nobody actually knew what the girl was going to be capable of when she got older, not even Freya. Teaching her to control her magic needed to be a priority. To say nothing of that werewolf temper she inherited. "Not really. I'm having a hard time, right now."

"This isn't really about Grandma Mary, is it? You miss Uncle Elijah."

Hayley smiled at her daughter and brushed a stray strand of hair off her face. "How did you get to be so smart, anyway?"

"I'm yours and Dad's daughter. I think we can chalk it up to genetics."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, young lady."

Hope gave her best trying to look innocent face, and then shrugged. "So, what are you going to do? Are you going to France?"

Hayley froze at that. Somehow, she had never considered doing that. Though, she wasn't really sure it was a good idea. "Not right now, baby girl. I don't think that seeing him right now is really going to help me. It might actually make everything worse, remind me of everything I lost. No. But, I am going to be going away, for a while. Your dad is pretty worried about me. So, I'm going to L.A. with him for a bit. I don't know how long I'll be there. Until he trusts me, I guess. But, that's why I came here. I didn't want to go all the way to the other side of the country for who knew how long without seeing you, first."

Hope hugged her. "You're being silly, Mom. You could have just called or facetimed me. You didn't need to actually come and pull me out of class."

"I know. Maybe I wanted to come see you? And maybe I was also using you as an excuse. I was pretty mad at your dad for ordering me around. I kept trying to put road blocks up, and that man actually used logic to out maneuver me. The nerve of him! Who does he think he is, anyway?"

Hope giggled at that. "Well, I'm glad you came. Even if it was more to annoy Dad than anything else. And I'm glad that he's going to be taking care of you for a while. He's not the only one worried about you."

"Well, you don't need to be worrying about me. I'm the parent, here. It's my job to worry about you, not the other way around."

Hope looked sad at that. "Except, ever since Grandma Mary died, I've had to be the one worrying about you. I was so glad when Dad said that he was coming to help you." She hugged Hayley. "I'll be fine. I have school, and my friends, and Caroline and Ric. So, you go to L.A. with Dad, and don't worry about me. The best way for you to help me, right now, is to take care of yourself. Come see me when you get back?"

"I'll do that. I love you, baby girl. Always and forever."

"Always and forever."

Hayley stood up and started walking to the door. But then she was stopped by Hope calling out to her. "And Mom? Don't worry about Uncle Elijah, either. Josh is taking good care of him. And I'm studying really hard. Someday, Aunt Freya and I will figure out something more permanent to do with the Hollow, and we'll get our family back. All of them. I'll get him back for you, Mom. I promise. This isn't forever."

Hayley nodded and walked out of Hope's room. And then vamp-sped to Caroline's office, where she sat down and cried.

"Hey! What's wrong?"

"Hope. That girl has been through so much Hell in her short life, and yet… Her main concern is me. She's trying so hard to take care of me, when it's supposed to be the other way around. What the Hell kind of mother am I that my ten-year-old daughter has to be strong for me?"

"The kind of mother who raised a daughter with the kind of compassion and emotional strength necessary to be able to sometimes be the strong one when you can't. You aren't doing anything wrong, Hayley. Just because you're the mother here, doesn't mean you have to always be strong for her. You've been through Hell, too. Can I ask what in particular set this crying fit off?"

"She reassured me that she's been studying really hard so that she can help Freya figure out something more permanent to do wit the Hollow. So that we can get our family back."

"Which makes sense. She misses everyone, too. Why does that have you crying like this?"

"Because then she specified Elijah. She promised to get Elijah back for me, and that this wouldn't be forever. And none of this is fair. She's ten years old. She shouldn't have this much weight on her shoulders. She shouldn't feel responsible for the entire damn family. It shouldn't be her job to fix things."

Caroline sighed and came around her desk to hug Hayley. "They're her family, too. And, of course she feels responsible. Like it or not, she's the one that the Hollow wants. She's the reason they've had to scatter like this. Hard not to feel responsible when it really is her fault. Not that anybody is blaming her. This goes back even further than the Mikaelsons. But, she blames herself. So, of course she's working like Hell to find a way to fix it. Because she feels like this is her fault. And of course, she's going to specify Elijah, right now. He's the one that none of you can even talk to. And the one you miss the most. And, from what Klaus showed me, he's what you're really upset about, right now. Hope isn't stupid. She knows what's going on with you. She always did. I think she may have realized before anybody else did what your real problem is."

"Is any of that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Yes, actually it is. You aren't doing anything wrong, Hayley. You're allowed to be hurt. You're allowed to break down once in a while. You're allowed to need other people. You want Elijah back. I get it. Maybe better than anyone."

Hayley started at that, and then her eyes were drawn to Caroline's left hand, and to the wedding ring she still wore. Stefan had died within hours of putting that ring on her finger, sacrificing himself to save his brother. "I'm sorry. I'm not being fair. I can at least get Elijah back, someday."

"Don't be sorry, Hayley. And especially don't feel sorry for me. Yeah, I became a wife and a widow on the same day. And yeah, that sucks. It hurts so much, sometimes. But, I also know that he would want me to be happy and to move on. To find someone else, fall in love, again. Someday, I'll let myself take this ring off. But you? Elijah is still out there. You can't move on, because you know damn well that he'll be back, someday. And so, you're stuck in this weird limbo that even a widow can't fully comprehend. Because you're mourning someone who is still alive. There's no release for you. There's not going to come a day when you can just put that part of your life aside and let yourself move on. Because you know it wouldn't be fair to the guy you tried to move on with. Because all you'd be doing would be killing time, while you waited for Elijah to come back to you. Stefan isn't coming back. Elijah is. And yeah. It sounds weird, but I get that that actually makes things harder for you than they are for me."

Hayley put her face in her hands and sobbed. "I want him back, Care. Hope asked me today if I'm going to France, and… I want to. So badly. Which is stupid. He left for a reason. And I don't know what seeing me would do to him. And part of me is actually afraid that it wouldn't do anything. That I'd just be some random girl. That he wouldn't even be attracted to me, much less… Much less whatever it is I want from him."

"Okay, we're going to get back to the rest of this conversation. But, first… You're worried that he wouldn't even be attracted to you? When the hell is the last time you looked in a mirror, girl? You're gorgeous. I'm not even into girls and I'm kind of attracted to you."

Hayley had to laugh at that. "Josh said something similar when he was telling me about Elijah having a date. Which doesn't really change anything else about this situation."

"No, it doesn't. But, you know what? I kind of agree with Hope. I'm not suggesting you hop on a plane today, or even tomorrow. But someday… Maybe you _should _go out there. See for yourself how he's doing. Talk to him. As for why he left…" Caroline sighed. "Why are you so convinced that he left to get away from you? Why do you have such a hard time believing that maybe the last thing he really wanted to do was leave you?"

"Because he made himself forget everyone. He made himself forget me. Forgetting me _was _a big part of the point, Caroline. You can't really deny that. He specifically told Marcel to make him forget his family and me."

"Again, what makes you so sure that he did that out of anger? Or out of wanting to get away from you? Like you told Klaus, his reason for wanting to forget his family was because he didn't trust himself to stay away from them. Has it occurred to you that maybe that's why he wanted to forget you? That maybe leaving you hurt too much, and the only way he could deal with it was to forget you, entirely?" There were tears in her eyes as she said that, and Hayley sighed.

"Right back at you, Caroline. Stefan loved you."

"Not enough to stay with me. And my stupid ass told him that I understood when he called to tell me what he was doing. But, I didn't. I didn't understand it then, and I don't understand it, now." She wiped at her eyes. "But, this isn't supposed to be about me."

"Why not? You think that knowing I'm not the only one going through something like this isn't helpful? You and Klaus can understand me in ways that nobody else can. The two of you are the only ones who truly get what it's like to have someone you love just… abandon you to face eternity without them."

Caroline looked puzzled at that. "Who abandoned Klaus?"

"Elijah did. Not a romantic relationship, no. But… his own brother decided it was easier to just forget him. Klaus can no more talk to Elijah than I can. Elijah left both of us. He left both of us." Hayley stood up. "Care, I think I'm ready to go back to the airport. Klaus… he isn't just trying to help me. He needs me to help him. And maybe… maybe I can do for him what I can't do for myself, you know?"

"Slow down. Don't go burying your own pain out of some misguided attempt to help Klaus, okay? You're the one that had a nervous breakdown. I'm not saying not to help him deal with his issues. I'm just saying don't derail your own healing because you have to go all mother hen and help Klaus with his. Help each other, by all means. But, that means letting him help you. Don't go putting your own pain on the backburner like it doesn't matter. Let him help you, okay?"

"I'm not going to bury anything. I've been threatened with being compelled to behave if that's what it takes. Klaus won't let me evade. Think he won't compel total honesty from me? He's fully prepared to do whatever he has to do to protect me from myself. I'll let him help me, Care. But… we can help each other."

Caroline didn't really look convinced. "Hayley… This really does sound an awful lot like you're trying to avoid your own problems by helping Klaus deal with his."

Hayley had to laugh. "And isn't that what he's doing? Yeah, I'm the one that had a nervous breakdown. But, that's as much from having buried everything for the past two years as anything else. Maybe if I had let myself mourn properly, I would have never gotten to be this bad. Now, think about Klaus, for a minute. What do you think the odds are of him ever having let himself really let go? You know he has to be missing Elijah as much as I am. Elijah may be the love of my life, but… He's Klaus's brother. His best friend. Positions he has held for a _thousand years. _You think Klaus is doing as good with this as he'd like us all to think? Think again."

Caroline nodded. "Okay, I see your point. And, I guess that it actually helps having someone going through the exact same thing. I mean… I've never even talked to Damon about how I really feel about Stefan's sacrifice. And he's the one…" There were tears in her eyes. "All right. I see your point. You go talk to your brother-in-law. And… it's past time that I talked to mine."

Hayley stood up and hugged her friend. "Do that, Care. Talk to him. It would probably do both of you some good. Now then, can you please drive me back to the airport? I guess Klaus and I should get started on dealing with our damn abandonment issues. I mean, if you're not up to driving, I can run it. It won't take me too long to get there, even if I don't vamp-speed the entire way."

"Girl! You are not running to the airport, vamp-speed or otherwise. Give me a second to clean myself up and I'll drive you."

It wasn't until Caroline left the room to get herself cleaned up that Hayley realized that she had called Klaus Hayley's brother-in-law. And by the time her friend came back, she wasn't really sure she wanted to know what that was supposed to mean. After all, Elijah didn't even remember her. Much as she might wish there was some way… No, better not to go there.

She stood up when Caroline came back into the room. "All right. I guess it's time for me to go to therapy." She shuddered. "Klaus as a therapist. This is probably not going to be at all fun. His methods are… a bit unorthodox, to say the least."

Caroline laughed as they started walking out to her car. "Yeah, that was certainly unique." She sighed. "Actually, for all that I was getting on you to put your own healing first, you're right. He's hurting, too. Do you know that the reason he was in the shower long enough to use all the hot water was because he was crying? You're right. He misses Elijah, too. Maybe even as much as you do. And he's worried sick about you. So, honestly, one of the ways you can help him is to let yourself get better. Let him help you. He can't do anything for Hope. He can't bring Elijah back. But, he can help you deal with things. And maybe what he needs most of all is to not feel useless. To be able to do his part to keep you sane. For Hope. And for the day Freya fixes this and you get Elijah back."

Hayley could only nod. They both had a long road ahead of them. But, maybe, together they could get through this. She could only hope. Because he was right. She was no good to anyone, right now. Especially not her own daughter who had suddenly been put in a position of having to be the strong one.


	4. The Talk

_Hayley starting to talk about Elijah leads to Klaus sharing a memory with her - and a horrifying realization of just how bad she really is._

**~Holding On For Dear Life~**

The flight from Mystic Falls to Los Angeles wasn't as quiet as the flight from New Orleans to Mystic Falls had been. Apparently seeing Hope had helped Hayley a bit. Or maybe Klaus had Caroline to thank and she had knocked some sense into the girl.

Oh, it was mostly fluff. Talking about how Hope was doing in school, and about Rebekah and Marcel's wedding. And wondering what it was going to take to get Freya and Keelin to the altar. But, he didn't blame her for not wanting to talk about Elijah on the plane. There would be plenty of time for that once he got her to the hotel. In the meantime, he just enjoyed seeing her acting more like her old self.

But, as soon as they were alone in his hotel suite, she turned to him with a pensive look on her face. "So, this is the stage where I tell you my whole life story, right?" Well, that was slightly dizzying.

He shrugged. "Not your whole life story, love. Just the parts that have to do with what brought this on."

"If Cami were here, she would say that that would be my whole life story. Shrinks are always bringing things back around to your parents. Except, in this case, she'd be right."

She didn't seem to notice that he had tensed at Cami's name. Which was just as well. He didn't want to upset her more. And he had a feeling that if she knew that hearing Cami's name still affected him, she would be upset that she had hurt him. "Whatever you need to make this easier for you, love."

"You know, when we first met, your brother asked me how I felt about becoming a mother. I told him that I didn't know, because I had never really had a good one. The truth is, I was terrified of screwing up. Of making mistakes. Of making her hate me."

"Well, for what it's worth, you are a wonderful mother. That girl is remarkably well adjusted. Especially considering everything she's been through. I know that I have you, Freya, and Caroline to thank for that."

She smiled. "Well, to bring this back to the beginning… My birth parents abandoned me. Or, at least I thought they did. By the time I learned the truth about what happened to them, I had had twenty years of hating them. Of feeling unloved and unwanted. The damage had already been done." She shrugged. "And then my adopted parents kicked me out when I turned into a wolf. I… I was thirteen, and suddenly on my own."

"You don't really have to do this, Hayley. I already know most of it, anyway."

"If we're going to talk about my abandonment issues, then we really need to start at the beginning. And if we're going to talk about why your brother leaving me the way he did hurts so much, then we need to talk about my abandonment issues."

"All right. Just… At your own pace, okay?"

"This is oddly cathartic, actually. Anyway, I spent seven years wandering from wolf pack to wolf pack, just trying to find somewhere to belong. Never really been in any real relationships, just a string of one night stands. I know that I was using sex to try to find someone to love me. Which was stupid. But… I guess that's what happens, sometimes. But, then you came along."

"One more one night stand." If he had known, would that have changed anything? Probably not. Caring about anyone else's feelings wasn't exactly something he did, back then.

"Yeah. But… because of that one night stand, I have a beautiful daughter. But, more than that. I have a family. Your brother and Rebekah were the first people to ever truly care about me."

"And me, love. I was horrible at showing it, but I did care." There was something else about what she was saying that bothered him, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"And you. But, yeah, you were crap at showing it. Which is why, for the sake of this story, you don't count."

"All right, fair enough."

"Anyway, coming to New Orleans, meeting him… He promised that he would always protect me."

"And then I daggered him and made him break his promise."

"And I was so used to being abandoned, that I never questioned that that was what had happened. That I had been abandoned, yet again. But, that isn't really the point, here."

"I suppose not. Go on."

"Like I said, he was really the first one to ever seem to really care about me. And then, as time went on… he seemed to more than care."

"He did, Little Wolf. He loved you. Probably from the moment he first laid eyes on you. I've never really believed in love at first sight. But… seeing the two of you together… You two made me a believer."

The smile she gave him was sad. "I was so stupid. He showed me so many times how he felt about me. And, somehow, it was never enough. Oh, it was at first. I knew that he had to be careful. That you had to come first. And I understood. But, sometimes, I just really wished he would just tell me he loved me." She smiled again. "Well, there was one time. When I first told him about how Jackson and I were supposed to be betrothed, and he said he wasn't sure what he was supposed to say about that. I went on a tirade telling him what he should say. And he shut me up."

Klaus just smiled and waited for her to continue. It was nice, seeing her like this. This smile, the one brought on by remembering a time when she and Elijah were happy, reached her eyes and lit up her face.

"He kissed me. And then he told me that I will always have a choice. Later, the day of my wedding, I said something about him never telling me how he felt about me. But, that wasn't true. That was never true. Maybe he had never said the word 'love' but he had been showing me and telling me pretty much from the day we met. He told me he would always protect me. After the mess with Tyler, when we thought that you only wanted Hope because you could use her blood to make hybrids, he told me that when he said he would always protect me, he meant it. And that that would extend to protecting me from you, if it came down to it. He was willing to put me, and keeping me safe, above you. And I didn't realize at the time just what that really meant. And then there was that kiss and telling me that I would always have a choice. He… there was so much that he was saying that I was too stupid to see. He was hoping that I would choose him, wasn't he? And he told me that, in his own way. And… maybe I realized it then, but I forgot about it. I threw him never saying the words in his face. And I did it to hurt him. And I don't know why. I think I was mad at him for not telling me not to marry Jackson. For not… I don't even know, anymore."

Klaus sighed. "Can I show you something? Something that might help you with this?"

**~Holding On For Dear Life~**

Letting Klaus into her head sounded scary, actually. Oh, she didn't think he would do anything bad. And besides, he had Compulsion on his side. It wasn't like he needed in her head to get her to do whatever he wanted. But, there was the not so little matter of getting into her head would give him access to her thoughts, if he so chose. And she wasn't sure she trusted him enough for that. She didn't really trust anyone other than Elijah enough for that.

She barely held in a snort of laughter at that. She had let Elijah show her his past the very first day she met him. Within minutes, really. Just what was it about him that had inspired so much trust? She closed her eyes for a minute and took a steadying breath. When she opened her eyes, Klaus was looking at her in concern. He was just trying to help. She knew that. "You'll just show me what you need to show me? You won't go snooping around inside my head?"

"I promise, Hayley. I will only show, not look. But, there are several moments I've had with Elijah since meeting you, things he's said and done, that perhaps you need to see for yourself. Proof that he did love you. That I fully believe that somewhere inside him, the part of him that is still him, that Marcel shoved behind that red door in his mind… that part of him still does love you. And will continue to love you until the stars burn out. I would like to share one of them with you, now. If I may?"

She took a deep breath, and closed her eyes again. "Go ahead."

And then she was standing in the compound, watching an argument between Elijah and Klaus.

"Do not question my allegiance towards that child."

"Oh and I suppose your affection for Hayley has nothing to do with your tireless dedication. Yes, you see, I saw how you cared for her, tonight. Called her name in the dark."

She knew when they were, then. The witches' festival. After Marcel's attack. But, they obviously hadn't gotten to the part Klaus wanted her to see, so she kept watching.

"The zeal with which you would destroy those who would harm her."

Elijah lunged, then, and pinned Klaus against the wall. "I have denied every single impulse that I have ever had for that woman. Out of some misbegotten respect for intentions that you don't even have."

She watched as Klaus tried to push Elijah away. "I'm warning you…"

But, Elijah pushed him right back. "I'm warning you. I've forgiven you. I have stood by you. I've forsaken every single one of my desires in the name of your ridiculous redemption. No more. If I want something… I'll take it. And nothing… nothing… will stand in my way."

And then it was over, and she was once again alone inside her head. She opened her eyes to stare at Klaus.

"Do you see, now, Hayley? Do you understand the depths of his feelings for you, even then? He was willing to forsake me. To walk away from always and forever. For you. He chose you over me. In a thousand years, he has never done that, before. Not even with Tatia. Not really. But you? For you, he would have walked away."

It was all too much. She couldn't handle this, right now. She put her face in her hands and cried.

There was a sigh. "Come here, love." And then Klaus's arms were around her, and he held her while she cried. "He could be an idiot, sometimes. But he always loved you. He didn't always show it in the best ways, but there was no sacrifice he wasn't willing to make for you, Hayley. He was willing to sacrifice always and forever, to sacrifice his relationship with me. And he was willing to sacrifice his own happiness when he thought that that was what you needed. I truly believe that were you to ever need it, he would find a way to die for you. Even if it meant making Marcel bite him and dying in agony. There is nothing he wouldn't do for you, Hayley. Nothing."

She just nodded and clung to him while she cried.

**~Holding On For Dear Life~**

She eventually got herself together, and pulled away from him. And he let her. He watched as she wiped at her eyes. "Well. This has been an exhausting day. I think I'm going to take a shower and then get ready for bed."

He nodded and pointed out where the bathroom was. "There should be towels and washcloths in there. I grabbed your shampoo, conditioner, and body wash from the compound. At least I think I did. I certainly grabbed _something_. If there's anything else you need, we can go shopping tomorrow." He sighed. "I also am not completely cruel. I have a couple of Elijah's shirts for you to use as nightgowns."

She smiled at that and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you for that. For understanding." And then she grabbed her suitcase and disappeared into the bathroom.

Once she was out of sight, Klaus sat on the couch and sighed again. He played their conversation over in his head, trying to figure out what it was about it that had bothered him so much. And then it finally clicked. The name that Hayley never once said, in the entire conversation. "Your brother."

She had talked about him, about Hope, about Rebekah, Freya, Marcel. But, for all that Elijah was the actual topic of conversation, she never really talked about him. He picked up his cell phone and sent out a group text to the entire family, except Hayley and Josh.

NM: So, here's a question. No accusations, just a genuine question. When is the last time anybody has heard Hayley say Elijah's name?

It was a while before he got any replies. Caroline was first.

CF: You know, I don't know that I've ever heard her say his name.

KM: My wedding. She was the one to first realize exactly what Josh's present was.

After a bit, the others all replied in agreement. It seemed that Hayley's stunned gasp at Kol and Davina's wedding was the last time _anyone_ had heard her say Elijah's name.

CF: Hold on, I'm bringing Hope into this conversation.

A few minutes later, there was another reply from Caroline's phone.

HAM: This is Hope. Caroline told me what's going on. And my answer is the same as everyone else's. The last time I heard Mom say Uncle Elijah's name was at Uncle Kol and Aunt Davina's wedding. But, there's something else, too.

NM: You planning on sharing, my littlest wolf?

HAM: At Aunt Bekah and Marcel's wedding. When Aunt Davina set up the projector and said that Josh had asked her to deliver his present… Mom walked out of the room. You might have all been too busy watching the screen to notice. I should have followed her, but…

NM: No, don't go blaming yourself. You're the child, here. And, it's probably just as well. My guess is that she found someplace to sit down and let herself cry. Which is something she desperately needed, and probably wouldn't have done in front of you. Anyway, thanks, everyone. At least now I know exactly what I'm working with, here. Now if only I could figure out exactly how to fix it.

RM: You just take care of her. And if you need anything, the rest of us are only a phone call away. I love you.

A round of "I love you's" later and Klaus put his phone down and ran a hand over his eyes. No, he wasn't really any closer to getting Hayley back to herself than he was when he dragged her out of the compound. But, like he had told the others, at least now he knew just how bad the problem was.


End file.
